Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence, and the Truths to Set You Free, by Brian F. Martin
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Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence, and the Truths to Set You Free, by Brian F. Martin
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“When you grow up living with domestic violence, witnessing those you love tear each other down with physical and verbal blows, your brain doesn’t know how to deal with that.” --from the foreword by Tony RobbinsAccording to UNICEF, growing up with domestic violence is one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the world, affecting more than a billion people. Yet too few people are aware of the profound impact it can have.Invincible seeks to change this lack of awareness and understanding with a compelling look at this important issue, informing and inspiring anyone who grew up living with domestic violence—and those who love them, work with them, teach them, and mentor them.Through powerful first-person stories, including the author’s own experiences, as well as insightful commentary based on the most recent social science and psychology research, Invincible not only offers a deeper understanding of the concerns and challenges of those who grew up with domestic violence, but also provides proven strategies everyone can use to reclaim their lives and futures.The author is donating all net royalties to the Childhood Domestic Violence Association.
Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence, and the Truths to Set You Free, by Brian F. Martin- Amazon Sales Rank: #449486 in Books
- Published on: 2015-10-06
- Released on: 2015-10-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.22" h x .75" w x 5.44" l, 1.00 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
Review “I have never shared the fact that I was a child of domestic violence. And, if I had not met Brian Martin, I don’t know if I would have. What appeals to me most about Brian’s approach is that it is based on empowerment. Our experiences as children living with domestic violence have given us the equipment—a secret weapon, if you will—to overcome all kinds of obstacles in our lives. It means we are not victims, we are victorious.”--Tony Robbins, bestselling author and Peal Performance strategist“Attention-grabbing and revealing, giving us insight into the world of CDV. It will be a valuable tool for our staff and New York City’s most vulnerable population—its children.”--Trevor M. Johns, acting associate commissioner, NYC Administration for Children’s Services“Martin’s kindness shines through this book. And though many purported self-help books often have the stench of the obvious—House too cluttered? Throw out stuff! Overweight? Eat less, move more!—Invincible has the air of honesty and hard work, and the feeling of someone who wants to help. It is not easy reading. It is not pleasant reading. But for anyone who grew up in a violent household, it could very well be the most important reading.”--NJ.com“After reading Invincible, I was struck by the sheer magnitude of children and adults whose lives are impacted by childhood domestic violence. The stories will touch your heart and make you aware of this huge crisis facing our children throughout the world.”--Marlene Lund, executive director, Center for Urban Education Ministries“Packed with inspirational stories of those who through courage and compassion have transformed their lives, this is a helpful book for anyone who grew up living with domestic violence. It shows that it is possible to overcome the obstacles of a childhood filled with violence and move forward.”--Stephen Joseph, Ph.D., author of What Doesn’t Kill Us: The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth“Invincible can be a catalyst for change in the lives of millions who grew up living with domestic violence, as it gives them a compelling roadmap on the journey to heal and attain the lives they were always meant to have. It is a valuable resource that can renew their hope and guide them on the path to reaching their full potential.”--Caryl Stern, CEO of the U.S. Fund for UNICEF“Invincible is poignant, challenging, illuminating, and compassionate—all at the same time. Brian does a fantastic job of illustrating points with real-life stories and a fresh perspective. The book goes way beyond describing the issue; it provides clear insight into the thinking and behavior patterns that result from these experiences. Readers are not alone.”--Chris Newlin, M.S., L.P.C., executive director, National Children’s Advocacy Center
From the Inside Flap What did you learn growing up with domestic violence? Do you know how this has had an impact on your life? How have you dealt with it?Today, are there certain things about yourself that you wish weren't true? Many of them aren't. They are lies you learned.Invincible exposes the lies, reveals the truths, and offers the insight and the skills you need to go from feeling and acting:Guilty to FreeResentful to CompassionateSad to GratefulAngry to PassionateHopeless to GuidedWorthless to AccomplishedFearful to ConfidentSelf-Conscious to AttractiveUnloved to LovedThe truth is, no obstacle you will ever face can compare to what you went through as a child and have already conquered. The author is donating all net royalties to the Children of Domestic Violence Foundation (CDV).
From the Back Cover According to UNICEF, growing up with domestic violence is one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the world, affecting more than a billion people. Yet, too few people are aware of the profound impact it can have.Invincible seeks to change this lack of awareness and understanding with a compelling look at this important issue, informing and inspiring anyone who grew up living with domestic violence--and those who love them, work with them, teach them, and mentor them.Through powerful first-person stories, including the author's own experiences, as well as insightful commentary based on the most recent social science and psychology research, Invincible not only offers a deeper understanding of the concerns and challenges of domestic violence, but also provides proven strategies everyone can use to reclaim their lives and futures.
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Most helpful customer reviews
13 of 15 people found the following review helpful. Enlightening book that highlights an extremely important issue-- the effect of domestic violence on children. A must read! By Christina (Ensconced in Lit) I was given this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.You all know that I mostly read Young Adult books and am a pediatrician by trade. Both of these are reasons why I agreed to read this book because domestic violence is pervasive in our society, and I felt this was a topic that really needs to be highlighted. After reading this book, I'm moved and want to share this book with everyone I know-- those who have had domestic violence in their childhood, and those who know people who have. I think even the general public can learn from this book as well.Brian F. Martin bravely reveals his own story of abuse as he opens up Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence, and the Truths to Set you Free. He has become very successful and wants to pass on his story to other survivors. Each chapter is about another lie these children learn to believe growing up with this history and how they can break out of the vicious cycle of abuse. One factor that was key in this book was the fact that children are more affected by the abuse they see done to their loved ones than the abuse they suffer to their own bodies because they are overwhelmed with a sense of guilt that they were unable to "save" others. This resonated with me because I never realized how much worse that was, although the public always seems more horrified by the bruises they can actually see.I feel like anyone who has dealt with trauma, mild or severe, in their lives will be helped by the good tips in this book. We've all had negative experiences, and although we may not have been directly abused or seen a loved one abused, no family is perfect. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone alive believed one of these lies in their lives. The tips Brian has provided to overcome these lies can be used by anyone. I personally have never been physically abused, but I could definitely identify with some of these lies and the stories that Brian shares of other abuse victims.The setup of the book is very effective, seamlessly weaving personal stories with messages of hope and tips to break out of negative cycles, as well as providing data and medical evidence to back up his findings. I found myself reading from cover to cover in a day, which actually hasn't even happened with fiction recently.If I have anything negative to say about this book, it's that its scope may be too narrow. There is no doubt that this book is a personal letter to those who have been directly affected by physical or psychological abuse in their childhoods. But I feel like this book is more universal than the author probably thought. Like I said above, I think that this can be applied to people who have seen others affected by abuse, and that medical professionals and those in schools can really be helped by this book. Brian talks about the biggest reason that people break out of negative molds and their personal histories is by finding The One, the person who gives them hope and makes them realize that they aren't worthless and that they can become successful, powerful individuals who can change the lives of people around them in a positive manner. In fact, I think that educating people on how they can be The One for others is such a valuable tool. Perhaps this is fodder for an entirely new book. I'd like to know how to identify children/adults who need our help, and how best to help them, because I know silence and not talking about things are a large way in how these people isolate themselves. [Update: After talking to Brian Martin, who is a fantastic person by the way, he said that on his website there is a tutorial to teach people how to be The One. I definitely think this should be incorporated into its own book to spread the word!]Overall, I think this is an extremely important book, and fills a niche that hasn't yet been filled. I laud Brian for his bravery and commitment in making other lives better, and I want him to continue writing books and articles to forward this powerful message.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful. Highly suggested for those on the road to happiness and away from abuse... By Shanie Matthews As a person that has survived domestic violence myself, been around it all of my life and have lost a dear loved one to the hands of her boyfriend, this book touched me deeply. Not only was it an easy read that kept my attention throughout, but it also helped me realize that the feelings that I am still healing are not ones that I feel alone with. He also helped me realize through his beautiful ability to write about a subject that is difficult to broach, that I am worthy of living a life filled with love and hope.I am definitely going to add this to my list of books that I suggest to other women that are making it from a place of abuse and loss of personal power to a path of highest potential. It will help anyone on that road know that they are supported and encouraged to create and connect their happiest life possible.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful. you can unlearn the lies By Ryan Overbay Stumbling upon this book was a magical accident. As a grown child of domestic violence, this book explains in uncanny details the why I am-the way I am. This book shines a large ray of light on how to change and except, as well as use my strength from these experiences to unlearn the lies. Martin uses a fluency of real life experiences to portray the lifestyle and brutality of an abused growing mind. As well as realilistic recounts of events, Martin also uses his childhood experiences, to demonstrate the urgency of stopping domestic violence in homes.
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